Katie Millar Wirig, M.A.
The CDC estimates that as many as 10% of children ages 3-17 were diagnosed with anxiety by
their doctor. Additionally, 5% more were diagnosed with depression. These numbers represent
the children who actually went to the doctor seeking a diagnosis and treatment, not the millions
more who are learning to manage feelings of worry, anxiety and sadness without seeking
medical attention.
As a mental wellness coach, one of the most common things I am asked is how to help a child
or teenager during an anxious episode. Learning to manage anxiety is a process that requires
more than just some simple skills in the moment. Ideally, the individual would be working on
changing their mindset, understanding their triggers, and how to deal with stress as a
preventative measure; but in a pinch it is always good to have some tools on hand to combat
those anxious feelings. Here are some suggestions:
1. Deep Pressure
Anxiety can be described in many ways, but one of the best understood is that anxiety
causes your body to be in a “fight or flight” mode. It is like the body is confused and thinks that it
is being chased by a lion rather than sitting at a desk. Once this response has been triggered,
the individual will experience a wide range of sensations including restlessness, increased heart
rate, rapid breathing, faintness, the impulse to run, scream or fight, and an overall feeling of
unease. When this happens, you need to calm this fight or flight feeling and instead encourage
the “rest and digest” system to turn back on. One simple way to do this is through deep
pressure.
Touch and deep pressure flood the body with oxytocin, which can directly combat
cortisol, or the stress hormone, that is floating around the body. It also helps to encourage the
“rest and digest” state. Deep pressure can be done by giving the person a deep hug, squeezing
their arms and lower legs, or by using a weighted blanket and/or compression clothing. You can
also do hard rubbing up and down the person’s arms or back. Avoid tickling as this will have the
opposite effect.
Next time someone you love is feeling anxious or worried, try talking to them while
applying deep pressure. Furthermore, you might consider a weighted blanket for a child who is
unable to sleep due to anxiety. This can be a great way to calm the nervous system in
preparation for sleep.
2. Exercise
As previously explained, anxiety can cause the body to think it is in “fight or flight” mode.
This means that the body is gearing up for some possible event like running or fighting.
However, if there is no real threat, it becomes confusing because the blood starts pumping,
breathing increases, and the person feels restless all while sitting still. Consequently, if you can
give the increased intensity to the body’s system a purpose for being elevated it will help the
body to calm down afterward. Running, cycling, kickboxing, dance, and HIIT can all be a great
way to help the body make sense of its responses and encourage it to get back to normal. After
the exercise, the heart rate will go back down, the breathing will normalize, and endorphins will
be released into the system, making the person feel happier.
When your child starts to feel anxiety encourage them to do a cardio workout with you.
Or even better, encourage cardio throughout the day on a regular basis to help prevent the
anxiety attacks in the first place.
3. Grounding
When a person is having an anxious episode, they usually have the sensation that they
are floating above reality or that they are watching themselves from a distance. This sensation
can cause the person to feel even more anxious and removed from what is a real threat and
what is not. This is why grounding, or bringing the person back to reality, is important.
Grounding is done by activating the senses. Most people prefer touch, smell, and taste, but you
can use sound and sight if that helps as well. Some of the most common techniques are eating
a sucker or hard candy, drinking some water, touching a comfort object, smelling an essential
oil, listening to music, or looking at pictures of things they love.
Any of these things will help to ground the mind in what is real and what is not. If you
know your child is prone to panic, try having some of these things on hand and use them next
time they have an episode. It can also help to tell them they are safe while they are using the
grounding item.
These are some simple things that can be used to combat anxiety in your child. Ideally,
the best way to help with anxiety is to work on preventative measures by equipping them with
tools before the anxiety becomes severe. Programs such as the Anxiety Healing Program can
be a great way to teach children and youth how to deal with their anxiety. If you have any
questions about how to best help your child, make sure to reach out anytime at the
AnxietyHealingProgram.com
