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3 Things You Can Do Today To Help Your Anxious Child

Katie Millar Wirig, M.A. by Katie Millar Wirig, M.A.
in Faith, Family, General, Health & Wellness, Inspirational, Personal Growth & Development
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Katie Millar Wirig, M.A.

Panic.jpg

The CDC estimates that as many as 10% of children ages 3-17 were diagnosed with anxiety by

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their doctor. Additionally, 5% more were diagnosed with depression. These numbers represent

the children who actually went to the doctor seeking a diagnosis and treatment, not the millions

more who are learning to manage feelings of worry, anxiety and sadness without seeking

medical attention.

As a mental wellness coach, one of the most common things I am asked is how to help a child

or teenager during an anxious episode. Learning to manage anxiety is a process that requires

more than just some simple skills in the moment. Ideally, the individual would be working on

changing their mindset, understanding their triggers, and how to deal with stress as a

preventative measure; but in a pinch it is always good to have some tools on hand to combat

those anxious feelings. Here are some suggestions:

1. Deep Pressure

Anxiety can be described in many ways, but one of the best understood is that anxiety

causes your body to be in a “fight or flight” mode. It is like the body is confused and thinks that it

is being chased by a lion rather than sitting at a desk. Once this response has been triggered,

the individual will experience a wide range of sensations including restlessness, increased heart

rate, rapid breathing, faintness, the impulse to run, scream or fight, and an overall feeling of

unease. When this happens, you need to calm this fight or flight feeling and instead encourage

the “rest and digest” system to turn back on. One simple way to do this is through deep

pressure.

Touch and deep pressure flood the body with oxytocin, which can directly combat

cortisol, or the stress hormone, that is floating around the body. It also helps to encourage the

“rest and digest” state. Deep pressure can be done by giving the person a deep hug, squeezing

their arms and lower legs, or by using a weighted blanket and/or compression clothing. You can

also do hard rubbing up and down the person’s arms or back. Avoid tickling as this will have the

opposite effect.

Next time someone you love is feeling anxious or worried, try talking to them while

applying deep pressure. Furthermore, you might consider a weighted blanket for a child who is

unable to sleep due to anxiety. This can be a great way to calm the nervous system in

preparation for sleep.

2. Exercise

As previously explained, anxiety can cause the body to think it is in “fight or flight” mode.

This means that the body is gearing up for some possible event like running or fighting.

However, if there is no real threat, it becomes confusing because the blood starts pumping,

breathing increases, and the person feels restless all while sitting still. Consequently, if you can

give the increased intensity to the body’s system a purpose for being elevated it will help the

body to calm down afterward. Running, cycling, kickboxing, dance, and HIIT can all be a great

way to help the body make sense of its responses and encourage it to get back to normal. After

the exercise, the heart rate will go back down, the breathing will normalize, and endorphins will

be released into the system, making the person feel happier.

When your child starts to feel anxiety encourage them to do a cardio workout with you.

Or even better, encourage cardio throughout the day on a regular basis to help prevent the

anxiety attacks in the first place.

3. Grounding

When a person is having an anxious episode, they usually have the sensation that they

are floating above reality or that they are watching themselves from a distance. This sensation

can cause the person to feel even more anxious and removed from what is a real threat and

what is not. This is why grounding, or bringing the person back to reality, is important.

Grounding is done by activating the senses. Most people prefer touch, smell, and taste, but you

can use sound and sight if that helps as well. Some of the most common techniques are eating

a sucker or hard candy, drinking some water, touching a comfort object, smelling an essential

oil, listening to music, or looking at pictures of things they love.

Any of these things will help to ground the mind in what is real and what is not. If you

know your child is prone to panic, try having some of these things on hand and use them next

time they have an episode. It can also help to tell them they are safe while they are using the

grounding item.

These are some simple things that can be used to combat anxiety in your child. Ideally,

the best way to help with anxiety is to work on preventative measures by equipping them with

tools before the anxiety becomes severe. Programs such as the Anxiety Healing Program can

be a great way to teach children and youth how to deal with their anxiety. If you have any

questions about how to best help your child, make sure to reach out anytime at the

AnxietyHealingProgram.com

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Katie Millar Wirig, M.A.

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