Two Lives

Reflections of a Believer

Some days I feel as if I have lived two lives. Maybe that is normal for someone widowed at such a young age. See, my first husband was diagnosed with cancer in my early thirties, and we fought a very short battle before he entered his eternal home.

I often think of how challenging that time was for everyone who loved him. To watch such a spirited man fight so hard was gut-wrenching. It burned scars into our hearts that seem to reopen at the most inconvenient times.

The truth is, some pains never go away. You move forward. You find happiness. You fall in love, but you still remember.

These moments of remembrance can be painful reminders that throw us into the depths of depression, or they can be catalysts to change in our lives.

See, when we are faced with a break in our emotions, we can focus on the emotions, or we can focus on God.

The Bible tells us, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John‬ ‭16:33‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Knowing that we will face troubles does not negate the fact that we feel pain or fix our character flaws. What it does do is prepare us to lean on God when we face painful times.

As I have navigated the painful depths of despair, I have learned things not only about God but also about myself.

See, I have learned when I get hurt or experience a drastic change, I tend to pull away and shut down. Like most, I do not like change, so in a self-preservation attempt, I tend to flee the situation.

Learning this about myself has caused much self reflection in recent years. I have realized when faced with conflict or pain; I have a choice to flee inside myself and become bitter or trust that God is who He says He is.

The Bible tells us in many places that God will guide our paths. A simple Google search will yield numerous verses. One such verse is Psalms 48:14 NIV, it reads, “For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.”
‭‭
The truth is, if God knows all (1 John 3:20), and guides our path (Isaiah 48:17), our downfalls, our pains, and even our moments of weakness, come as no surprise to Him. He is there to help us through, if we allow Him to help.

We do not have to allow the circumstances of our life to control us. Instead, we have to take a deep look at what these circumstances produce in us and then ask God to help refine us.

So today, I sit here trying to reconcile my feelings (and actions) with the Word of God. See, I know I am a work in progress. One that has to fight her flesh on a daily basis. I know I am not where I need to be, but praise God, I am no where near where I used to be.

With each new day, and each glimpse into my own character, I realize there is work to be done. I realize I cannot allow my emotions or my circumstances to control me. Now, on to walking out this revelation. Because let me tell you, getting a revelation and walking it out are two totally different things, but that is a different post. 🙂

So, today I ask, how are you going to handle your tough situations? Are you going to let your emotions get the best of you? Or, are you going to allow God to refine you? The choice is always your own.

Father,

I humbly come before you today and ask that you continue to refine Your people. I pray You give us glimpses into the parts of our character that need to change. I plead the blood over each one of us and declare we have the desire and the strength to walk out the changes that need to happen.

I pray for a peace that passes all understanding to flow to anyone going through a valley in life. I pray you restore them and use their valley to bring glory and restoration to their life.

Amen